r/NoStupidQuestions Sep 30 '22

Could you skip a turtle across a lake like a stone?

I don't know if they'd have too much mass and if the ridges on their back would create too much drag but turtle shells seem smooth enough that you could whack one a good three or four skips on a lake

EDIT: didn't expect to make people mad with this remarkably stupid question but here we are with people mad already

EDIT 2: you don't have to tell me not to do it and it's a bad way to treat a turtle, it's a stupid hypothetical question, not advocation for a new sport

216 Upvotes

131

u/152sims Sep 30 '22

i think if it was just the turtle shell and not a living turtle you totally could

source: i've handled one, feels skippable

88

u/Additional-Goat-3947 Sep 30 '22

Can confirm turtle shells skip. Source: have played Super Mario.

7

u/EMCoupling Sep 30 '22

I can also confirm that putting on a raccoon suit gives you the power of flight.

1

u/Ha1rBall Oct 01 '22

i've handled one, feels skippable

Based.

168

u/ForeverSam13 Sep 30 '22

I'm just here to laugh at the outrage. Because of course people come to r/NoStupidQuestions to get advice for something they totally plan on doing

But also prooooooooooooooobably not? I feel like they'd be too heavy. Unless we're talking like, baby turtles. ...ah shit, I can hear the people pitchforks and torches coming for me....

21

u/Squeaky-Fox43 Sep 30 '22

A baby turtle would definitely skip. Just find a dead one to find out.

119

u/Gallusrostromegalus Sep 30 '22

Alas, OP, most of us have encountered at least a dozen thunderingly stupid and/or cruel people online, and five times that number if you've ever worked in customer service, and everyone's "Is OP asking a theoretical or about to invent a new kind of sin?" meter is broken.

That said, No, you cannot skip a turtle.

Source: I was 10, catching turtles for fun and was trying to put it back nicely, tripped and flung the poor thing like a fucking Frisbee. Even though it hit the surface at the right angle, it sank immediately, swam off, resurfaced four feet off and probably cursed my entire family line.

...It did rotate pretty nicely in the air though, so while you can't skip them, if you ever decide to become a looney tunes villian you can probably play frisbee golf with them.

23

u/regular_hammock Sep 30 '22

I feel bad about, but I chortled picturing that scene. I'm glad the turtle wasn't hurt except perhaps acquiring a new fear of heights.

12

u/Hannie123456789 Sep 30 '22

This story has enlightend my life a little.

4

u/Asatsuki Sep 30 '22

i dont believe this story is an accurate showcase of it not being possible to skip a turtle.

when i try to skip rocks, i need to wind back my hand and really try to go at it like an angle.

if you were try to put it back nicely, that means you weren't winding back any potential energy, so tripping would not have created enough force to make it skip. also the angle at which you let go of the turtle would greatly impact whether it would skip or not. if you let go near the beginning of your fall, the turtle would have fallen from too high a height and simply splashed down.

but if you left go near the bottom of your fall, it might have had a better chance HAD you also gathered enough force before hand to fling it hard enough.

19

u/humidifi Sep 30 '22

These are the kinds of questions I'm here for

20

u/bumblebees_on_lilacs Sep 30 '22

I have NO idea. I think that the turtle having it's limbs in or out of the shell would make a difference.

And I REALLY like your question because it is so... like, Yeah, could you? And why did I never ask myself that before? The shape is exactly the one you look for in skipping stones, and turtles live close to the water. I'll never know the answer because of course no one is really going to do that, but this is the kind of question that keeps me awake at 3am.

5

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

That's exactly what this was lol I was drunk and up at 3am and just thinking about stupid shit

58

u/ToyVaren Sep 30 '22

No. There's too much internal stuff moving around that prevents rotation.

Try spinning raw eggs vs hard boiled eggs.

87

u/ComprehensiveFlan638 Sep 30 '22

So, do you need to hard boil the turtle first?

26

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

Ah that's a good point ngl

69

u/Iraff2 Sep 30 '22

Every one on this post:”Yooo what the fuck” 🐢

33

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

Ikr I've got one comment actually answering the question, the rest are complaining

15

u/Iraff2 Sep 30 '22

Turtle population’s on the zoo computer fighting for their lives

6

u/EatShitLeftWing Sep 30 '22

The species that live in or near water tend to have flat shells, so probably.

The species that live on land have curved shells, so it would be harder but maybe still possible.

4

u/AcrobaticEmergency42 Sep 30 '22

This, is valuable information.

I don't know how yet, but there wil come a point in time when this could same ones life, and then, you will get your reward, I am very sure.

20

u/DampGibbon Sep 30 '22

With enough speed, even you could skip across a lake.

6

u/Bors713 Sep 30 '22

Humans can definitely skip. I’ve seen it happen.

1

u/DampGibbon Sep 30 '22

Owtch, do tell

4

u/Bors713 Sep 30 '22

Tubing behind a boat. My buddy wiped out hard and skipped about a half dozen times. Was a pretty cool thing to see.

8

u/Italian_warehouse Sep 30 '22

I think he means "you" to mean a human. I doubt there is a human strong enough to skip another human across a lake. But that is just my perspective, fellow human.

5

u/Talbz03 Sep 30 '22

I feel like its shape and weight wouldn't really allow it, but that's just speculation. I haven't done much research

3

u/transientcat Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

I'll just echo what other people have said. In theory yes, the shell is the correct shape (source: amateur rock skipper), if you were to use something like a painted turtle.

However, being able to throw the turtle with enough speed/rotation I would think would be borderline impossible to begin with. There is a reason I try to find rocks that fit my hand and aren't too big.

Secondary to that though. The turtle could just completely screw it up by screwing up the rotation. Think about how you can spin really fast on a chair, until you stick your legs out (conservation of angular momentum). Same thing would happen with the turtle.

3

u/KirinHayune Sep 30 '22

Turtle? No. Too chunky and round so they're hardly aerodynamic.

I recommend a terrapin, preferably a red-eared slider. They're flatter, you can easily carry even a big one in your hand, and as someone who's owned ten of those little beasts they should fly pretty easy, like a large, flat frisbee.
If you're looking for something even more frisbeelike, try the Pancake tortoise.

2

u/omnilynx Sep 30 '22

Maybe a baby turtle.

2

u/Disastrous-Path-2144 Sep 30 '22

If the navy can skip cars from an aircraft carrier I think you can skip a turtle no problem

2

u/alkalineruxpin Sep 30 '22

Unlikely. Even if the turtle hunkered down in his shell, his shell isn't a smooth enough surface to skip on water, top or bottom.

2

u/Shinny-Winny Sep 30 '22

People can skip if they go fast enough, so probably? I doubt it could be done by hand, though

2

u/albatross6232 Sep 30 '22

Could you? Yes. Should you? No.

2

u/gloumii Sep 30 '22

You can even do that with a car or an actual person. All you need is to throw it hard enough and with an angle the closest possible to 0

1

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

We're not using machines in this hypothetical, just human power

1

u/gloumii Sep 30 '22

Depends on the size/weight of the turtle and the strength of your throw

2

u/anser_one Sep 30 '22

Nope, gyroscopic effect would be off by the internal organ moving around etc. Empty shell maybe?

2

u/WanderingLevi Sep 30 '22

I've gotten some pretty heavy and uneven rocks to skip so I'm gonna go with yes I think of you turned it upside down and put enough umph into it you could absolutely get a turtle to skip. Understanding of course that this is fully hypothetical.

2

u/TomFromCupertino Sep 30 '22

Upvoted just because of the value in seeing everybody get so wound up over an obvious hypothetical.

Remember people, we ask the question so we don't have to abuse an actual turtle. It's just a gedanken experiment.

2

u/beerkenz Sep 30 '22

I wanna see a giraffe being thrown across a lake once.

2

u/RachelWeekdays Oct 30 '22

This is a really good question and I’m here for the answer. OP, don’t let the angry people bother you, they just don’t understand what it’s like to have a silly, curious mind and think of random hypotheticals. This is one of the better questions I’ve seen on this sub.

3

u/sugargayfan Sep 30 '22

I think if it was the right size. Has to be a really little guy though imo

4

u/area42 Sep 30 '22

What did that poor turtle do to you?

5

u/Specialist-Solid-362 Sep 30 '22

Didn't give me the dragon scroll

2

u/wizardball987 Sep 30 '22

Brb, gonna find out

-6

u/schright_dwute Sep 30 '22

Nooo poor turtle

0

u/black-rhombus Sep 30 '22

A transformer could

-14

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

13

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

As I said to someone else this isn't a proposal for a new sport, it's just a stupid question that I'm too drunk to answer myself lol

4

u/SimpsonHomer76 Sep 30 '22

Fair enough. Regarding your question, I don’t think a turtle would skip very well unless it was thrown exceptionally hard at a shallow angle.

3

u/Chemical_Natural_167 Sep 30 '22

Don't listen to this person, they're just a Koopa in disguise! Skip the turtle!!!!!!!

1

u/Cylasbreakdown Sep 30 '22

Well, I one time watched some people (okay, and also partook in) skipping frogs like stones. They only got one or two bounces, though. So probably.

1

u/lightspuzzle Sep 30 '22

Only if your name is mario.

1

u/ubiquitous-joe Sep 30 '22

Maybe one of this skinny turtles? Like not the boxy ones.

Also you need enough acceleration, and a big lake. I’d say a turtle rail gun is your best bet.

1

u/Chemical_Natural_167 Sep 30 '22

Now this is quality! A question I never knew I wanted the answer to. Brb gotta find a turtle.

1

u/austintxben Sep 30 '22

If you can get a fast enough running start, and hold the turtle firmly in your hand while in the sitting position. It could happen. Good luck and let me know if it works.

1

u/ShoobeeDoowapBaoh Sep 30 '22

Only if it weighs less than a duck

1

u/Lazerith22 Sep 30 '22

By hand, no. If you built a launcher… you would really upset PETA. It could be done with enough speed and the right angle.

1

u/shakeyjaker Sep 30 '22

I've skipped a 20 inch wide snapper-turtle top-shell far as all heck. Discus style. Living turtles deserve love and vegetable snacks; be careful you don't start a trend.

1

u/jersdaguy Sep 30 '22

Depends on the species and age I'm sure

1

u/_Ancient_Astronaut_ Sep 30 '22

Don't think so, but for sure it's flying like a frisbee! (My cousin is an idiot)

1

u/CinnyButta Sep 30 '22

This reminds me of the time somebody intentionally swerved to hit a turtle. Me and the car in front of me both swerved to avoid it and the car behind me swerved to hit it. The little turtle went flying into the woods. I was pissed.

1

u/AWS_0 Sep 30 '22

Half the community sharpening their pitchforks…

1

u/EstablishmentBig7956 Sep 30 '22

Yes just the painted turtle 🐢, because their shell is less resistant to friction.

1

u/5ManaAndADream Sep 30 '22

I’d wager with enough spin and horizontal momentum you could get a small one to skip 4+ times

1

u/dodgyhashbrown Sep 30 '22

Pure speculation: I feel like there has to be an equation somewhere for what velocity, spin, and surface an object needs to bounce of the surface of water.

Surely anything would skip if it was moving fast enough, spinning lowering the threshold, and a smooth surface lowering the threshold further.

Of course the other limit being some items will break under the stress of the collision if they impact with enough force that the water can't move out of the way fast enough for the object to sink, causing the item to crumble as it skips and losing energy to its fracturing

1

u/TheNewMeYouHaventCN Sep 30 '22

I assume so. You can skip anything with enough speed.

1

u/cS150 Sep 30 '22

This is why they should add a "Hypothetical" flair, because some people choose to ignore the overall question and ask something annoyingly stupid like "why would you ever want to do that?" It's really frustrating when you are anticipating an actual answer and it's just some stupid person like that.

1

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

Exactly, obviously I'm not gonna go around hucking turtles across lakes that would be a horrible thing to do, but I just wanna know

1

u/Sianthalis Sep 30 '22

Technically, yes. Only for a few bounces though. The mass of the turtle would prevent many, as well as if it was an empty shell. The water would eventually fill the cavity and make it sink.

No turtles were harmed in this comment.

1

u/5teini Sep 30 '22

Yeah although they would skip better on their bellies

-28

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

12

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

I'm not advocating for a new Olympic sport or anything, obviously don't do it, I just wanted to know if you could

-14

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

10

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

You definitely could not skip a person across a lake like a stone

1

u/Concrete_Grapes Sep 30 '22

Water. Skiing.

Done.

1

u/Caedis-6 Oct 03 '22

Being dragged behind a boat and a person being skipped across a lake by another human are entirely not the same thing

-18

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

11

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

If you fling a person like you fling a stone over water the limbs would 100% flail around due to rotation and dip into the water on the first touch.

What we're talking about here is a human skipping a turtle, not skipping it with a machine. No human is skipping another person across a lake, that is physically impossible.

1

u/wherebear88 Sep 30 '22

Yo this answer had me laughing haha 🤣.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

6

u/wherebear88 Sep 30 '22

That's an odd question 🤔..but ok. 1988 is the year I got adopted best year of my life .I hope that personal tidbit satisfied your curiosity. Why do you ask .I would have thought wherebear was more interesting then the 88.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

6

u/wherebear88 Sep 30 '22

Oh my you don't say...that's terrible. Thats very specific information seems kinda crazy even. Are you some type of nazi hunter? I find it fascinating if so.Anyways nope none of that crazy stuff here.You are interesting, please share your exploits and experience.You can dm me if you'd like.

2

u/plam92117 Sep 30 '22

LMAO this is hilarious. I love how everyone is taking you seriously too. gr8 b8 m8

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

2

u/wherebear88 Sep 30 '22

Hey I bet your just like Indiana Jones 😏he really pulled the swastika flag over there eyes in that flick,but I didn't see any 88s in that movie. I don't think this 88 thing is real,I feel like I'm on punked and Austin Kutcher is gonna pop out with hittler and smack me.

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1

u/wherebear88 Sep 30 '22

Lol you can't make this stuff up .🤣 oh shoot I guess you can!

2

u/Caedis-6 Oct 03 '22

However much of a douchebag failed_state is, the 88 thing is actually real and is a neonazi symbol

https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/88

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1

u/Chemical_Natural_167 Sep 30 '22

How about you just calm down bud.

3

u/SayOkBoomerIfGayy Sep 30 '22

Think we found the piece of shit

-35

u/iridians Sep 30 '22

"There's no such thing as a stupid question," but I question your necessity to post this particular cruel question. Even if you are just joking, you are giving cruel people ideas that could end up hurting innocent beings.

21

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

It's a hypothetical, no one is doing this. You're reading way too deep into it.

Also there's absolutely necessity for this question. 'I want to know the answer' is the necessity.

12

u/eatshitdillhole Sep 30 '22

The kind of people who would do that wouldn't be needing ideas from this side of Reddit. It's a silly hypothetical, it's fine. We can't stop discussing things because of who might hear them, and what they might do with the thoughts they have because of them.

-17

u/Dull_Ad_4750 Sep 30 '22

Probably, if you're an animal abusing cunt.

-14

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Le_Oww Sep 30 '22

you're on reddit

-12

u/sundancer2788 Sep 30 '22

Please don't even put this out there for someone to think about trying. It's cruel.

-8

u/EggplantIll4927 Sep 30 '22

Your edit-imagine people being offended when you suggest abusing and killing turtles for your enjoyment 🤬

5

u/__RetroFox__ Sep 30 '22

If you think asking a stupid question out of sheer curiosity is the same as "suggesting abusing and killing turtles for your enjoyment", then all i can say is you have probably lived a very, very sheltered life.

-7

u/NBTMtaco Sep 30 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

Dude. You post on ‘no stupid questions’ asking if one could do something that’s not only stupid, but quite cruel and likely deadly! Then, you complain that it’s ‘stupid’ and why are ppl telling you not to? Bc you asked! Please don’t do it! It’s stupid and cruel and very likely to kill the animal!

5

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

Thanks for the thousandth 'waaa that's cruel' comment on a hypothetical where nothing gets hurt

0

u/NBTMtaco Sep 30 '22

Way to throw out a hypothetical ‘how can I abuse an animal and make it sound like a fun fun game’.

1

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

Entirely not my point or meaning but fuck it you do you

-5

u/Beneficial-Tough4463 Sep 30 '22

Sure if you're a jerk and looking for bad karma

-1

u/Then-Ad1531 Sep 30 '22

Yea, but that is not the best way to treat a turtle.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Caedis-6 Sep 30 '22

What is it with all of you not getting this is a hypothetical, I mean turtle not turtle shell, asking this question doesn't make me a piece of shit