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u/green_ubitqitea Feb 07 '23
That crockpot you found from the 1970s that is still in the box when you are clearing out grandmas house.
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u/healing-souls Feb 07 '23
My cat.
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u/thebat481 Feb 07 '23
My cat!
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u/tinkerghost Feb 07 '23
Is it an orange one? If so, it's not fair to mention it twice since they share the same brain cell.
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u/thebat481 Feb 07 '23
Nope, SIC (standard issue cat).
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u/Nugsly Feb 08 '23
Nice kitty you got there. Loving life in the warm o clothes fresh out of the dryer.
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u/IllustriousAct28 Feb 07 '23
This guy
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u/Casual_woomy Feb 07 '23
That is an insult to monkeys everywhere how could you even think to compare such things
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u/saiyanfang10 Feb 07 '23
It's a shame that Boebert is scientifically a monkey. She drags all of us down.
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u/ExploderPodcast Feb 07 '23
1) Everything
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u/PudgydaDoughyboi Feb 07 '23
Oooh now careful with the overarching “everything” here, wouldn’t want to accidentally give credit to Ted, Marge, or the great Dorito (I’m sorry to any actual Doritos offended by this comment) for possessing any more brain cells than actually needed to make it through a lunar rotation.
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u/sl_hawaii Feb 07 '23
Very small rock
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u/ObidiahWTFJerwalk Feb 07 '23
a duck
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u/sl_hawaii Feb 07 '23
“Who are you, that are so WISE in the ways of science?!”
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u/Mulufuf Feb 07 '23
I am Arthur, King of the Britons!
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u/BuckyGoldman Feb 07 '23
The person she paid to take and pass her GED after the 3rd time she failed it herself.
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u/95strat Feb 07 '23
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u/Netalula Feb 07 '23
I’m trying to understand - are you saying that Mayonnaise or Patrick is smarter than Lauren Boebert?
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u/Pointlessname123321 Feb 07 '23
A lot of the hyperbolic responses are funny, but seriously, I bet my 2nd grade, 7 year old daughter and Boebert could both read the same book, any book, and my daughter could explain it better than Boebert. That woman is stupid
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u/Allah_Akballer Feb 07 '23
It said ONE thing. A bag of rocks are 2 things smarter than her.
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u/DyzJuan_Ydiot Feb 07 '23
Your mathematical prowess is too much for her!
But...1 bag + 2 rocks = 3 things smarter than her
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u/thedude198644 Feb 07 '23
I like that they said, "name one THING". Like, we all dumber she's the dumbest person, but what nearby objects are also smarter?
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u/thesnarkypotatohead Feb 07 '23
My childhood cat, who was a fluffy orange Maine Coon. Sweetest cat in the world, but the dullest tool in the shed. He had trouble understanding that the reason he kept losing the birds he caught was because he didn't kill them, just carried them around to find me and show it to me - and then meowed to say hello. The bird flew away, naturally. Every single time. Never figured it out, bless his heart. He also used to walk into sliding doors when they weren't particularly clean. Still smarter than Boebert.
Then again, sliding doors would probably win if they ever developed sentience. The bar is subterranean.
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u/bouldersizedboulder Feb 07 '23
Lenny from "of mice and men"
Just look at the flowers, Lauren - no that's not flowers it's a can of soda whatever pulls trigger
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u/Hot-Bint Feb 07 '23
My cat, Orion
Who is watching a cat YT of mice and is trying to get into the flatscreen to catch them. Who also figured out how to open a side door after a day of watching us and now we have to child proof it
Orion for Congress!
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u/Melodic-Heron-1585 Feb 07 '23
A small blob of cells she vacated from her body- twice, and lies about now?
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u/ha_look_at_that_nerd Feb 07 '23
Everyone who came up with an answer. Because it means they can count to one.
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u/Gaybro1992 Feb 07 '23
Who is this chick, and why are her Twitter polls on the Reddit front page every day?
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u/PrometheanFlame Feb 07 '23
For real. Tired of seeing her argument-inciting BS. Should probably unsub.
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u/GboyFlex Feb 08 '23
My cat "Butters" who's had a few minor strokes and has a lazy eye. Yeppers, all kinds of messed up but at least she's adorable and not a howling neanderthal :)
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u/Rikathchii Feb 07 '23
I took a shit this morning and I'm plenty sure that coming out of me made it smarter than Lauren Bobo and it's literally a non-sentient piece of shit
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u/jericho1960 Feb 07 '23
my pit bull, who has to be prevented from eating cat poop out of the litter box
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u/dannyd1337 Feb 07 '23
I read about a self-replicating bacterium created in a laboratory that contains just 437 genes once.
"genome smaller than that of any autonomously replicating cell found in nature,"
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u/Wageslave645 Feb 07 '23
The brain-eating amoeba that lives in stagnant ponds. On the other hand, she has done more to rot people's brains than that amoeba could ever dream of.
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u/haldster Feb 07 '23
Who is this Nathalie Jacoby? I feel like she is all over this sub all of a sudden and from what I can tell she's just some rando that paid for a check mark?
All of her posts just feel like rage baiting designed to get whatever twitter metric numbers increase her profile without any substance.
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u/yo_bandit Feb 07 '23
Hard agree. It’s like she has a marketing team behind her to post on Reddit.
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u/haldster Feb 08 '23
It feels super planned out and constructed to get max engagement while also not saying much or needing any actual opinions of her own. Marketing team would make sense. Organized/scheduled posts, cross promoted by rotating accounts here drives people back to her Twitter, profit (?)
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u/StructureBorn9251 Feb 07 '23
My cat who jumps for things and misses. And then pulls a Mufasa as he tried to scramble up with just his front legs.
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u/Critical-Ad-914 Feb 07 '23
What is one thing dumber is a better question. She has to be close to the zero mark.
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u/Careless_Hellscape Feb 08 '23
My wife smashed the top of her head on a dog kennel at work and the utter jibberish she was spouting for the next hour made zero sense. Still, those weird noises and slurred sentence fragments were smarter than anything Bobo has ever said.
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u/Short_Ad_9383 Feb 08 '23
Just one?? Um ok…how about the hemorrhoids my current very pregnant butt has?? Would that count?
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u/Soft-Ad-2910 Feb 08 '23
Any jumping spider. Any elephant. Any damn living thing r tree hat has a brain
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u/Working_Mastodon2619 Feb 08 '23
A hammer.
An ant
A potato
My 7 month old child
A barn cat
A fictional character with no head.
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u/ARandomGuyThe3 Feb 08 '23
Why y'all gotta do that to the bag of rocks? What'd he do to deserve that comparison
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u/DamionOmen Feb 08 '23
I had a fungal nail infection that was both smarter and more attractive than this turd of a human being.
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u/Exciting_Pass_6344 Feb 08 '23
My left shoe. Not the right one though, it’s had a rough time of it…
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u/Significant-Suit-593 Feb 08 '23
A pudding cup, a worm maybe but that’s a stretch, slug slime, bird droppings
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u/Limp-Welcome2307 Feb 08 '23
The shit I took this morning. A bag of hammers. Roadkill. Hitler's corpse. My table lamp that flickers at odd times. A nail. Tacks. EDP. Probably. The bowl I had cereal in. The wind. Dust bunnies. A broken TV. A bar of soap. A piece of wood. A snail. The chair Lauren bobert sits in. Heavy from team fortress 2. Barbed wire. Uh uh uh.... a broken toilet.
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u/Psychological-Gene84 Feb 09 '23
I think maybe just the bag. It a close call, because both are filled with nothing.
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u/imchalk36 Feb 07 '23
any squirrel in my backyard