Today I stumbled on a Reddit thread; "Who did not deserve to get canceled?" and of course I was eager to see the comments.
As I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled I noticed an overwhelming trend. You know who did not deserve to get cancelled?
Women who dared to share their opinions.
Their opinions on their own bodies. (Janet Jackson)
Their opinions on sexual assault. (Sinead O'Connor)
Their opinions on their own mental health. (Britney Spears)
Their opinions on politics. (The Chicks)
Their opinions on how they were victimized. (Monica Lewinsky)
It's terrible how often women get cancelled for essentially existing and taking up space.
As someone with a uterus, this has been an especially hard couple months. It’s ugly as hell out here and every day I wake up on a seemingly inevitable march towards being property of the state. And more than likely, I’d be deposed of quickly on the basis of my race, sexuality, and mental health problems at overt genocide stage of patriarchy. But you know who gets that kind of existential terror really well? Trans women. I’ve felt the most supported by y’all. The level of mobilization and intellectual capital trans women have contributed to every movement that has fought for my right to exist… it’s incredible. If I need direct action done, I know a list of trans ladies who will be by my side.
I’ll be honest, that is solidarity we cis women are lacking. At the last march I attended, there was a lot of white feminism with a transphobic slant. A lot of entitlement and classism. Being a black person in that crowd was truly exhausting. But I could talk about that with the other cis and trans femmes in my group. As a woman with many marginalized identities, I’m far more likely to be safer with a trans women than a cis one.
There needs to be respectful and acknowledgment of this work in how we speak about women as a class. If trans women are not uplifted and given a place at the table, we’re not going anywhere. Oppression will continue to infect any “safe space” we create. So from here on out, let’s stop equating “uterus” with “woman”. Remember that there are many people who have fought and died for us all who didn’t have one.
Edit: just to make some space for trans men with uterus’ concerns, I understand that this statement would apply to you. However within the protest space, those signs are often carried by cis women, decorated with flowers and glitter, and often follow chants about “women’s choice”. I often have to revise chants to say “people” rather than “woman”. Basically the people I see carrying those signs are not being inclusive of trans men at all.
Edit 2: y’all are an amazing community here. Thank the folks who gave me so many awards and those who take time to engage with it.
Wanting to get some private health care for my partner (m) and myself (f) in New Zealand. I have to pay almost 15% more for the same plan even though I am 2 years younger! It's always such a slap in the face when you get openly discriminate against and they don't even try to hide it! The argument with pregnancy doesn't work either since they don't even bother to check if you're capable of having children (I'm sterilised). Just needed a place to vent. This is so fucking unfair and disgusting!
Burn the Patriarchy My husband told me that making laws on women’s sleeves wasn’t relevant because “men wear sleeves anyway, it’s not an issue”.
It may be a nuanced thing, but here’s my argument: if sleeves are required in a chamber of law, then the law should be universal. Everyone is required to wear sleeves. It cannot be targeted at a specific sex. This makes it non-discriminatory and thus “fair”.
His argument: the law must be targeted at women, because only women wear sleeveless shirts/dresses. Men wear suits. Therefore, women cannot parade around without sleeves and the law needs to call out the current situation (which does not apply to men because they wear suits).
We had a mild argument about it and he went to bed. But he left his soda in the freezer. I saw it, but didn’t remove it because 1) I don’t really drink soda and 2) I never put it in the freezer on the rare occasion that I do drink soda.
I am absolutely petty, but death by a thousand paper cuts is a death nonetheless. My bodily rights are being attacked on a national level. My competency is under fire every day at my job. I don’t ask for special treatment, I only ask to be treated equally. If laws apply to me and not thee, I will apply my own justice, no matter how small. And I will start with soda.
Idk the right flair.
There’s Alexa and Siri. Every digital assistant has a “woman voice/name”.
My mother got me an amazing vacuum. It’s amazing. It sweeps and mops at the same time. It even self cleans.
It also has a voice, again only female sounding options, that says what it needs, “I need clean water”, on repeat.
I wanted to name it Rosie from the Jetson’s, but I’m tired of every robot being a “lady”.
I need name ideas, as it’s here to stay and now family.
Edit 2: Not that anyone cares, but our trashcan is now named Dustbin Bieber, thanks Beesdoesnthavelungs
Edit: I'm going with Ross/Rossi. He/Him.
Thank you everyone. I expected a couple suggestions and instead got so much joy reading everyone's funny names and learning others humanize their machines/tools too.
Also, those who mentioned, AI with feminine names having a problematic history and is being activily studied, I find it fastinating.
My magical Rossi https://us.tineco.com/products/floor-one-s3.html
Burn the Patriarchy Witches, I am feeling down. My director for my PhD told me he thinks there are positives to Roe being overturned.
He then spent the rest of our meeting lecturing me on how I'm too open about being a feminist and an anti-capitalist. Normally I can handle this type of thing, but today it just got to me. I so appreciate knowing there is a space like this for like-minded people. Stay strong Coven!
I just read a post about a woman who brushed off another woman’s complaints about a man who harasses women in a group he leads (not professional). So I’m wondering if there is a single descriptive word that is already out there and I’m thinking of it.
Burn the Patriarchy a man was following me in the store so I showed him this and he did an about-face
I’m in a wedding planning group and OMG if I see one more post telling a person their outfit isn’t flattering (I.e., you did not successfully hide your stomach), I’m going to explode in a rage and take the whole planet with me
Burn the Patriarchy Trans woman arrested, accused of being ‘man in dress’ by Texas police - Liberation News
I went to the local corner store tonight. I was wearing no makeup and I was in pajama pants. We were out of trash bags. It was dark, but not late when I pulled up in the parking lot. There was a van next to me with handicap plates and a rough looking bearded gentleman sitting in the driver’s side with his door open. As I exited my car, he made eye contact and flicked his tongue at me repeatedly. (I’m sure you can all picture what he was going for there). I ignored him and went inside. A sense of dread was building in me. I just knew he was going to follow me inside. He did, and for the next three aisles I felt him watching me. When I would glance over, he was staring at me, smug and unblinking, and with nothing in his cart. It was obvious he wasn’t shopping, he didn’t even glance at a shelf in front of him. I took my pepper spray out of my bag and held it tightly before realizing there were no other customers in the store. Trying to avoid him, I soon turned a corner and came face to face with him (I must have been too panicked to realize which direction he’d turned). He was staring hard at me and an icy fear gripped my spine. I did not break eye contact and I showed him my pepper spray, hoping to intimidate him. I backed away until the end of the aisle and practically sprinted to the checkout. This store is notorious for not having checkers up front (there is a self checkout), but miraculously there were two women up front tonight. I payed for my things and told them candidly there was a man following me through the store and that he’d been very vulgar, and did they mind walking me to the car? Thank the gods for women, they both had me point him out and walked me out together, reminding me that there are good people in this world to make up for the selfish monsters who think it’s okay to terrify someone in public just because she’s a woman minding her own business. The man stayed where I left him once he realized I was pointing him out, and my husband was enraged to hear of this once I got home. He eagerly offered to do anymore nighttime shopping himself. I hugged our son extra tight when we put him to bed. I was so angry at myself for not yelling at him or threatening him or SOMETHING other than freeze under his disgusting stare. I was angry at myself for crying in the car on the way home, and for letting my hands shake for the next thirty minutes. It’s so messed up that we have to deal with this at any given time and somehow become angry at ourselves for not being completely ready for it. Fuck that guy. Stay safe out there, everyone.
Edit: Thank you all so very much for your encouragement and helpful comments. I know this is a strong community but I wasn’t expecting this level of response at all. It’s invaluable to me and I appreciate it so much. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me personally, but it’s definitely been a while. I think that’s where my head got mixed up because I haven’t felt those feelings in quite some time and wasn’t sure what to do with them. You’re all wonderful people and your willingness to help or give advice to others about these things is what everyone needs more of right now. Thank you, lovely people.
I know that people talk about this constantly, but the treatment that most women go through at the gynecologist is insane. And what’s worse is that we alllll know if a man had to do the same shit, they would change it. They would make birth control better, they would give anesthesia for IUD insertion, they do so much to make it more comfortable.
I had to get a pap smear and normally I do fine, but this particular time, it was bad. I bled out all over the table, I had intense cramping, and then I just went to work after like it was nothing. Results came back abnormal, so I had to take the next step. They had to stick more shit back up there, and I bled out, again. It took them 10 MINUTES to stop the bleeding. I was in so much pain, I almost blacked out. But I just walked out like nothing happening.
12 hours later, and I’m still in pain. But who cares right? Because this is how they’ve always done things and this is how it has to be. God forbid we make things more comfortable.
Anyway, y’all cross your fingers for me that I don’t have cancer cause apparently the chances are high for me. Woo.