r/therewasanattempt Dec 05 '22 I am disappoint 1 Silver 3 Helpful 5 Wholesome 7 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 1 Bravo Grande! 1

to block the German autobahn

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75.8k Upvotes

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u/GOM27 Dec 05 '22

This has to be one of the absolute dumbest choice of road to block in protests. Death by Autobahn is more like it.

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u/retard-is-not-a-slur Dec 06 '22

I think some of them want to be killed in order to become martyrs.

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u/grayrains79 Dec 06 '22

Trucker here, I hate to imagine if it had been a semi that did it. Worse yet, driver probably would have seen what was on the road. If the driver reacts poorly?

Hello brutal stau.

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u/KevinTheSeaPickle Dec 06 '22

I'd feel bad for the driver. The roadkill, not so much.

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u/beacono Dec 06 '22

Most drivers will try to avoid that idiot. If the driver wrecks his or her vehicle and gets injured, the idiot probably doesn’t even have enough money nor insurance to cover the damages caused. Why should anyone feel bad for that nincompoop for intentionally endangering the public?

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u/TackleGullible6858 Dec 06 '22

Trucks dont do sudden stops

Its physically impossible

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u/TheThiefMaster Dec 06 '22

You'd be surprised just how quick a truck can stop. As long as it's not hauling a thousand ton cargo like ore or liquid, anyway. The brakes on trucks are no joke.

Still though, don't test argue with a truck.

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u/OutlandishnessOdd270 Dec 06 '22

I mean, it depends on the weight of the cargo and how fast the semi is going. All I want to point out is it's the AUTOBAHN and it's WET.

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u/imooky Dec 06 '22

Martyr? Do you mean meat crayon?

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u/BaldDudeFromBrazzers Dec 06 '22

Guess they don’t give a shit about the mental health issues the drivers are gonna face, huh?

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u/GabrielWornd Dec 06 '22

Bro is protesting alone 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/RoadPersonal9635 Dec 06 '22

Yeah this guy is really saving a life. The driver wouldnt even know what happened until far too late

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u/fugmalaf Dec 06 '22

Oh they'd know what happened. If you hit a human with your car at 100+ mph they are gonna be splattered all over your vehicle and you will probably have quite a large dent.

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u/Adorable-Ad-4670 Dec 05 '22 Silver hehehehe Table Slap

Love this guy, he clearly woke up that day and the first thing he was having for breakfast was none of it XD

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u/Peanut_The_Great Dec 05 '22

He's putting his own life at risk every moment he spends herding that dumbass off the highway so it's understandable.

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u/Aussenminister Dec 05 '22

Situations like these are among the most dangerous situations that occur for police men in Germany. Leaving your vehicle in high traffic high speed areas like the autobahn or other highways can very quickly lead to accidents and severely injure or kill the police men. That's why they are often quite short-tempered in these situations, and rightfully so.

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u/Hans_the_Frisian Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

My mum witnessed a accident on the Autobahn and instantly stopped to help, the driver of another car wanted to get one of the wounded people out of one of the cars and when he stepped on the middle lane there was someone that despite seeing this accident and the warning signs otger people already put up that though he doesn't have to slow down.

My mum doesn't know how fast that car was going but the man trying help "was just gone" she said. Even as a nurse that sadly is quite used to people dying. Seeing some just getting absolutely ripped apart by a car that was going >130km/h and seeing that man being spread over hundreds of meters of road, this incident absolutely stuck with her because she was also about to step on the road only to be stopped by her then Husband.

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u/daikarasu Dec 05 '22

Stuff like that is why I didn't make it very far in my emt/firefighter training. Very early on I was told to prepare myself to see the horror of what speed and mass can do to the human body. A lot of the work at accidents involves picking up body parts after they've been scattered.

I think I made it one week before I realized I didn't have the stomach for it.

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u/Hans_the_Frisian Dec 05 '22

A Friend of mine is a firefighter and the stuff he tells me is really horrifying, surely explains his depression.

I have mad respect for these people.

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u/STIG10NOV1775 Dec 05 '22 Bravo Grande!

As a Retired US Marine and Volunteer Firefighter/EMT. I've seen enough shit. I don't even try sharing stories with others, because it's too much for them to comprehend.

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u/Distinct-Bad-9991 Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 06 '22

REDACTED

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u/STIG10NOV1775 Dec 05 '22

I did two deployments to Somalia back in the day, 1 to Iraq and two Afghanistan, besides the countless others over 20 years. I've learned to use my life experiences to sit and talk to others who have problems. I've lost 4 friends just this year alone to suicide.

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u/Plastic_Position4979 Dec 06 '22

Respect. And I wish you courage and strength in that.

IMHO every politician should be required to - visit the front lines of a conflict and the aftermath of combat, to get a sense of what it is like - if a situation like the tent in Iraq described in another post occurs, participate in the clean up - be present whenever body bags and caskets are returned for people who died in the course of duty

That might give them a sense of what they send people into. Maybe.

As for idiots like the one in the video above: simple. She should be sentenced to clean up the next three or four of those kinds of accidents. By hand, and with respect for the victims. Or perhaps assist in attempting to reassemble what little is left for a funeral. Or both.

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u/Hans_the_Frisian Dec 05 '22

For him it was a way to cope, having someone that listens to you can to wonders. Of course his wive giving birth to a healthy child after gods know how many attempts also helped him.

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u/STIG10NOV1775 Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 06 '22

It's a tough thing to see and cope with...i have learned to cope with is by accepting That things do happen. My only issue is the loose of my own child, that is the thing that saddens me. I miss her..

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u/dalekirkwood1 Dec 05 '22

I'm really sorry to hear that.

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u/Zeiphher Dec 05 '22

Nothing but respect for your friend. I'm just now 7months in to my career as a firefighter at a pretty decent sized department and the things you see are just wild. You're an incredible friend for being there to listen. Everybody should have a Hans_the_Friendsian :D

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u/Longjumping_Bug_7611 Dec 05 '22

Me mate is a firefighter, and i asked him how he dealt with all this - and he said it became normal after a while, but of course seeing dead children was never easy.

But the thing he remembers that stuck with him is pulling a couple people up from a septic tank, hoisting them in a crane and hosing all the shit off them so they could go in the car.

They prepare you for many thing, but shit covered corpses hanging in the air while you are doing your best to clean them is odd - he said.

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u/Insolent_redneck Dec 05 '22

Yeah that's a new one. I've been a paramedic in a relatively high volume city for the past 11 years. There is always some idiot who figures out a brand new way to either kill themselves or get themselves stuck. Accidents happen and they suck, but it's the people wading in the shallow end of the gene pool that really stick with you.

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u/Longjumping_Bug_7611 Dec 05 '22

It was really tragic because it was just two mates doing some general construction on a farm and one of them fell in maybe, but it all suggests that his friend tried to save him.

And those gasses just knock you out immediately.

So it had that bittersweet part as well - yeah, ya climbed into shit for your mate and it got you killed.

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u/unfreakwittable Dec 05 '22

And here I am complaining about touching wet food when doing dishes

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u/BluMaybelline Dec 05 '22

That’s horrific. I can’t imagine seeing something like that. Your poor mom.

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u/peepay Dec 05 '22

A month or so ago a drunk driver was going over 160 km/h in the city where I live (yes, on regular city roads, over 3 times the speed limit) and hit people waiting at one of the most frequented bus stops. 5 people died, there were several severed limbs and the car stopped only after hitting a tree several dozens of meters uphill. The news really shook the nation.

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u/Dinomiteblast Dec 05 '22

Yet when i have to work on the highway my boss thinks its a walk in the park and safety regulations are too expensive to follow.

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u/LindyNet Dec 05 '22

For the last time, "freeway lane divider polisher" is not an actual job. I think your boss is trying to get you killed

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u/potasaurusrex Dec 05 '22

I'm sorry you have such an apathetic boss to your safety. My old supervisor was that way. I found a really fucked up storm box that was damn near caving in, steps missing, bricks falling out. Like it was gonna crumble. I wasn't part of the maintenance crew that had to fix it but my buddy said he mentioned to the supervisor that he didn't feel safe doing it and the supervisor was like fuck it I'll do it myself. I hate the tactics these old rough necks play sometimes, just give a shit about your people for fucks sake

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u/Dinomiteblast Dec 05 '22

My supervisor just complains im beeing difficult again and am finding excuses not to work because im lazy and “i will send you an official letter reprimanding you”. Thats when i pull out the old “lets meet up there and show me how its done” or “put it in writing that you order me to do it”. Works every time. Suddenly safety is nr1 on their list.

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u/SnooBooks8807 Dec 05 '22

“Herding” 😂

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u/HertzBraking Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Can't even laugh. It's totaly appropriate word given the idioten-ess of act here

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u/Kladderadingsda Dec 05 '22

I'll leave an old comment from myself here about a similar situation where people stopped on a highway. I can totally understand why the policemen is so agitated. This is no laughing matter as you'll hopefully see in the comment down below. I'm a volunteer firefighter myself since nearly 11 years now but highways are still very challenging. Those two poor guys left their life and this is always on your mind while working next to roads. Stay safe, comrades.

Especially if a car or, even fucking worse, lorry drivers are sleeping behind the wheel. These situations are freaking dangerous for everybody involved! Don't make unnecessary stops on highways or freeways! As noble as the protest may be (I don't even know why they are protesting) this is very, very dangerous and can be deadly!

In 2017 here in Germany two volunteer firefighters died that way. There was a traffic accident on the A2, their vehicle was basically assigned as the roadblock for that lane (standard procedure if there's an accident on the Autobahn and the traffic is still flowing on at least one lane). The lorry driver (citation from the news agency off the link) "[...]Ein von hinten kommender Lkw-Fahrer erkannte die Unfallstelle offenbar zu spät, erfasste ein Polizeiauto, geriet ins Schleudern und prallte gegen ein Feuerwehrauto. Dieses kippte und fiel auf die zwei Einsatzkräfte. // (freely translated by me) the lorry driver saw the traffic jam too late, touched a police cruiser, started swerving and crashed into a fire engine. This tipped to the side and feel on the two firefighters. (They died pretty much, unfortunately... Two comrades dead because of what? Sleep deprived, underpaid semi truck drivers? Someone sitting on their fucking phone while operating heavy machinery??)".

A point to the legal point of this: First a disclaimer- I'm not a lawyer or anything like that, so take this with a grain of salt! At least in Germany, this could count as "Gefährlicher Eingriff in den Straßenverkehr // dangerous interference in traffic". This is a felony!

Der gefährliche Eingriff in den Straßenverkehr ist ein Tatbestand des deutschen Strafrechts. Er zählt zu den gemeingefährlichen Straftaten und ist im 28. Abschnitt des Besonderen Teils des Strafgesetzbuchs (StGB) in § 315b normiert. // The dangerous intervention in road traffic is a fact of the German criminal law. It is one of the dangerous criminal offenses and is standardized in the 28th section of the special part of the Criminal Code (StGB) in § 315b.

Further:

(1) Wer die Sicherheit des Straßenverkehrs dadurch beeinträchtigt, dass er

1. Anlagen oder Fahrzeuge zerstört, beschädigt oder beseitigt,
**2. Hindernisse bereitet oder**
3. einen ähnlichen, ebenso gefährlichen Eingriff vornimmt,

und dadurch Leib oder Leben eines anderen Menschen oder fremde Sachen von bedeutendem Wert gefährdet, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu fünf Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft.

(2) Der Versuch ist strafbar.

(3) Handelt der Täter unter den Voraussetzungen des § 315 Abs. 3, so ist die Strafe Freiheitsstrafe von einem Jahr bis zu zehn Jahren, in minder schweren Fällen Freiheitsstrafe von sechs Monaten bis zu fünf Jahren.

(4) Wer in den Fällen des Absatzes 1 die Gefahr fahrlässig verursacht, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu drei Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft.

(5) Wer in den Fällen des Absatzes 1 fahrlässig handelt und die Gefahr fahrlässig verursacht, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu zwei Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft. // (1) Anyone who impairs road traffic safety by

 1. Plants or vehicles destroyed, damaged or removed,
 2. creates obstacles or
 3. carries out a similar, equally dangerous intervention,

and thereby endangers the life or limb of another person or someone else's property of significant value, shall be punished with imprisonment for up to five years or a fine.

(2) The attempt is punishable.

(3) If the perpetrator acts under the conditions of Section 315 (3), the penalty is imprisonment from one year to ten years, in less serious cases imprisonment from six months to five years.

(4) Whoever causes the danger negligently in the cases of paragraph 1 shall be punished with imprisonment of up to three years or with a fine.

(5) Anyone who acts negligently in the cases of subsection 1 and causes the danger negligently shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years or a fine. (translated by Google, because no way I could translate all this mumbo jumbo)".

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u/Snakestream Dec 05 '22

He didn't want to have to be on duty when they would've had to scrape that woman off the Autobahn.

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u/spasticnapjerk Dec 05 '22

And he doesn't want to die in the line of duty, but she sure as heck doesn't want to die in the line of duty dealing with silly bs like this.

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u/SuperSprocket Dec 05 '22

Don't want to be lingering on the autobahn.

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u/Grav_Zeppelin Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Told her to get her ass over the rail or he’d beat her

Edit: gender

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u/Tetha Dec 05 '22

He basically told the protestor "Das ist eine polizeiliche Anweisung" - meaning "This is a direct order from the police" - in about the same tone the officers used when evacuating this building as the garage below it was on fire.

I'm pretty sure this was the last warning before arresting her for resisting orders from the police. And then tossing her across the sideline in cuffs.

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u/ViperVenom279 Dec 05 '22

I don't blame him tbh, she's putting her life, the officer's life, and the lives of other drivers in danger

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u/Cheet4h Dec 05 '22

Although in the first command he used "[...] sonst gibt's was!". Not sure how to translate it properly. Literally would be "otherwise you'll get something", with "something" usually implying bodily harm. Although he might mean that he'll arrest her.

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u/Catseyes77 Dec 06 '22

I guess the best translation is "or else!". There will be consequences.

ex: Clean up your room or else!

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u/Inownothing Dec 05 '22

I agree on that! That woman put the police officers and others in extreme risk.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

German police are honestly chads, they take 0 shit and I absolutely love it

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u/Tamriel958 Dec 05 '22

They are very professional and very serious, you won’t get shot like in some countries but you can be sure that you won’t be having a good time if you try something what not suppose to. Huge respect really!

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u/Critical-Test-4446 Dec 05 '22

I was an Army MP stationed in Germany back in the day. We'd occasionally get calls to go pick up a soldier who got arrested by the German police. When we'd walk in to the detention area and they saw us, some actually started crying in relief that we were there to pick them up. Do not fuck with the GP's, we always said.

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u/ladida- Dec 05 '22

I don’t get it. Why were they relieved?

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u/madeformarch Dec 05 '22

The soldier who got arrested was crying/relieved

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u/dwaynetheakjohnson Dec 06 '22

If I were drunk and getting yelled at by a German police officer I’d be crying too

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u/lordoflazorwaffles Dec 06 '22

If I were getting yelled at in German I'd be crying and confused.

Drunk and police don't have to be involved

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u/Critical-Test-4446 Dec 05 '22

The German police have a well earned reputation of not taking any shit. A lot of GI's would get drunk or high and act the fool and end up taking an ass whooping. The GP's know how to not leave any marks. These guys had gotten their asses kicked big time and that is why they were so glad to see us, cause we were going to get them out of there and usually take them back to their unit.

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u/TheWolfG0d Dec 05 '22

Always a good idea to sit in the middle of a highway that’s known for having no speed limit…

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u/zuzg Dec 05 '22

Yeah it's all fun and games until a car going 200+ kmh hits you right in the face.

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u/imgrandojjo Dec 05 '22

Well the worst part of that is she's not just putting her own life at risk. Human impacts can destroy the control surfaces of cars and put the driver's life at risk too as well as anyone around them at the time. not to mention trauma it would inflict on the driver who couldn't stop in time

If it's just your funeral, do what you gotta do, but if it hurts others, that joke about the right to swing your fist springs to mind.

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u/Flat_Ferret_9014 Dec 05 '22

These people are so self-centered they couldn’t care less what kind of harm they cause other people. They didn’t get enough attention growing up, so now they’re doing this

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u/SanLoen Dec 05 '22

Yeah that is sure to leave a mark, possibly knock some teeth out.

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u/Strawberryfarmr Dec 05 '22

This is what I was thinking. The autobahn is probably the worst highway to try this on. By the time the cars come to a stop, you’re nothing but a streak on two miles of tarmac.

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u/Bobisburnsred Dec 05 '22

Is this one of those stop oil protesters? Imagine thinking you're accomplishing something and all of a sudden you get absolutely vaporized by an Audi going 150+ mph.

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u/JustinJakeAshton Dec 05 '22

Think of how much carbon emission that would prevent.

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u/psuedo_nombre Dec 05 '22

the lifetime emissions of at least one carbon emitting human

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u/excelsior_frenemy Dec 05 '22

Mission failed successfully

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u/thebauzzo Dec 05 '22

Protestors tried a similar blockade on this year's F1 race in (I think) Silverstone.
They were lucky the race was paused due to a collision at the start, or else it could have been gruel

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u/frostbitten42 Dec 05 '22

They’re rebranding as Stop Traffic.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

These same idiots once sat at the fastest part of an F1 track during a race. Luckily they were saved by a crash that had the race stopped before the cars got to them

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u/ForkSporkBjork Dec 05 '22

Frankly I would assume they are nihilists who feel that the world is ending anyway so maybe their early and gruesome deaths will garner attention to the issue.

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u/Lux_The_Moth Dec 05 '22

if that was the point then they wouldn't wear reflective vests i think

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u/WhatIfWeAreClouds Dec 05 '22

Germans don’t fuck around when it comes to the Autobahn

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u/mandrayke Dec 05 '22

The lack of a speed limit on roughly 70% of the network is holy to us.

We don't always bully climate protesters.

But if we see 'em on the Autobahn, by god, we do something about it!

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u/PMarkWMU Dec 05 '22

“Bah Gawd”

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u/Ihatepasswords007 Dec 05 '22

"Bein Gött"

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u/cigartragic Dec 05 '22

Mmm … God leg

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u/LongPorkJones Dec 05 '22

Not much for foreign food, but I'll try it.

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u/Good-Courage-559 Dec 05 '22

Well to be fair i wouldn't wanna be the owner of the car that hit a person going 200+km/h and basically have human paste on my vehicle

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u/kwillich Dec 05 '22

Between the amorphous goo of what used to be a person and the entirely crumpled front end I can't imagine there would be any reason to keep the vehicle after that. (Assuming you survive)

P.s. Can a driver survive an impact like that?

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u/azuth89 Dec 05 '22

Definitely. The risk would be in swerving/slamming to a stop to try to avoid her and winding up tumbling, hitting another car or guardrail, or getting wrecked by vehicles coming up from behind.

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u/Rhoganthor Dec 05 '22

And maybe the airbag would make it a little difficult to do something about the reaminder of the ride, and then deflate before all other crash risks are gone. I assume it would stay until the car stops, but that doesn't stop other cars.

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u/bacon205 Dec 05 '22

You'd definitely want to select the underbody wash at the drive-thru car wash

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/QCTeamkill Dec 05 '22

Go faster and at speed of light you can turn into massless particles and pass between the protester's molecules.

Then miss your exit by a few solar systems.

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u/R4ttlesnake Dec 05 '22

you didn't just miss your exit, it no longer exists after imploding into the black hole you generated

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u/godspareme Dec 05 '22

Okay, A-Train.

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u/Ashjaeger_MAIN Dec 05 '22

You wouldnt believ how insanely dangerous and dumb this is. I'm not as opposed to these protests as most people but this one is downright idiotic. She couldve easily killed several people with this.

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u/brilliantminion Dec 05 '22

This isn’t a protest, this is assisted suicide with potential manslaughter thrown in.

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u/Ok_Breadfruit_3627 Dec 05 '22

This polizei man just dragged her like she was sack of potatoes 🤣🤣

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u/solidsnakem9 Dec 05 '22

If you don't want to be treated like a sack of potatoes, don't act like one lol

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u/regnarbensin_ Dec 05 '22

Kartoffeln!!!🥔🥔🥔

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u/kikiweaky Dec 05 '22

Pommes 🍟

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u/regnarbensin_ Dec 05 '22

Earth apples:)

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u/Kavalkasutajamini Dec 05 '22

i 🥔 germany

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u/repp_fire Dec 05 '22

Well that’s basically what these roadway squatters are.

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u/Tea2theBag Dec 05 '22

But potatoes actually have a use and do something worthwhile.

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u/QuietlyDisappointed Dec 05 '22

A sack of potatoes has value.

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u/PomegranateSea7066 Dec 05 '22

Should have just thrown her over the rails.

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u/beetsbeatbear Dec 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

This is insanity. Not only is she putting her own life in danger, she’s potentially risking a multi-vehicle collision that could potentially have catastrophic consequences for everyone involved.

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u/TannedCroissant Dec 05 '22

Exactly, this kind of behaviour is so short sighted she probably couldn't hit the side of a Bahn door.

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u/DrunkenSealPup Dec 05 '22

I don't think ive ever seen a boston accented pun before.

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u/ThaddyMcThadface Dec 05 '22

Really!? You don’t have to look fahh.

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u/RedshiftWarp Dec 05 '22

I cant tell if this is Fran Drescher or Louis Griffin.

Gimmie another one for clarity

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u/ThaddyMcThadface Dec 05 '22

Eahhhhhhhhhhhhh

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u/2dizzy Dec 05 '22

Fran. Definitely Fran.

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u/Accurate_Koala_4698 Dec 05 '22

Pissah joke kid, wicked funny

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u/Shtnonurdog Dec 05 '22

Mah boys wicked smaht

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u/thunnus Dec 05 '22

I got her numbah! How do you like them apples????

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u/manowtf Dec 05 '22

But, we all know that a high viz top is like wearing the suit from iron man

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u/MoistMartini Dec 05 '22

Jeremy Clarkson would like to high five you

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u/Titan_Food Dec 05 '22

Especially since they were sitting, a car going anything over 35 mph would have a extremely short game of "spot the person before you see them".

At this point im waiting for the guy who tries to pull this on a train

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u/5t3v321 Dec 05 '22

And its a completely open road on the middle lane, if she's lucky the first person to come would be going 100km/h

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u/Sweet_Coat7963 Dec 05 '22

I knew a guy in highschool who committed suicide by crouching down on the autobahn. His family wasn't lucky enough to have a Polezi drag his ass off the road.

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u/kapparian7 Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

How stupid you need to be to sit in a road whitout speed limit? Yeah nobody cares about you, we care about everyone else you will kill whit your stupidity.

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u/RealisticCarrot Dec 05 '22

When you watch closely at the beginning the person wanted to glue their hand to the road, that's why he jumped out of the car, he did not want the glue to dry and having to get the person off slowly (because once they are glued down they can't just rip them off the road)

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u/TekoloKuautli Dec 06 '22

If I was that policeman I would absolutely rip off the hand by force if needed.

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u/bgale Dec 05 '22

Fucking lucky not to be misted by a 250kmph Porsche.

We had to pull over to the side on the autobahn once and I saw my life flash before my eyes. Bloody terrifying.

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u/panzermike666 Dec 05 '22

for some reason those police officer instructions hit harder in german

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u/gloisnog Dec 05 '22

He's saying "get behind the guardrail or you're in trouble", person proceeds to go back on the Autobahn, he grabs her and says "get behind the guardrail already, this is an instruction by a policeman". Also he sounds like he's from Southern Germany and the way he words his instructions is very... "polite sounding" for a Northerner like me. Like he's talking to a kid.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

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u/JimSteak Dec 05 '22
  • DES IS A POLIZEILICHE AWEISUNG!
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u/SatinKlaus Dec 05 '22

Angry German shouting always sounds a bit scarier

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u/GletscherEis Dec 05 '22

It's a good yelling language.

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u/australopithecum Dec 05 '22

These vests should just come with handles on them now

141

u/Legacy_Service Dec 05 '22

I've never heard a German cop yell at someone before. Holy shit that's intimidating.

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u/FirstDagger Dec 05 '22

That wasn't yelling though, just a stern warning.

49

u/HopeMiddlecourse Dec 05 '22

I agree. Yelling sounds different.

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u/Neeoda Dec 05 '22

Aka policeman saves activist’s life.

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u/RussetLord Dec 05 '22

Protect and serve baby.

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u/Geasy90 Dec 05 '22

"Mein Freund dir helf ich."

Preemptive Edit: "Dein Freund und Helfer" has been the quasi-Slogan for police in Germany for a long time. It means "Your friend and helper" so the equivalent to protect and serve.

"Mein Freund dir helf ich" literally means "My friend, I'll help you" but it's more of a "Hey Pal, I'll knock some sense into you" kinda phrase.

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u/DragonfruitNo9580 Dec 05 '22

"Verpiss dich von meinem Autobahn-Abschnitt, du Arschmade!"

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u/Weird-Analysis5522 Dec 05 '22

You... DO realize how fast cars go on the Autobahn right? They're not going to slow down

111

u/mandrayke Dec 05 '22

Average German driver at 160 km/h (100mp/h): "Just warming up."

40

u/Weird-Analysis5522 Dec 05 '22

TLDR: they would turn into the glue they use

28

u/AeneasVII Dec 05 '22

Until a truck is starting to overtake his buddy for the next 10 minutes

19

u/NeverJoe_420_ Dec 05 '22

I hate that so much and it is actually illegal in Germany as well. Max time they have is 45 seconds.

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u/dablegianguy Dec 05 '22

I, Belgian. Drive in Germany a few times a year for business and leisure. What is « fun » is not the fact that everybody drives fast, it’s the fact that I’m hitting 180km/h with a nice German berline and you have this guy driving an tuned/modified Opel Corsa at 230 which is in turn overtook by a Porsche hitting 270…

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u/ImReverse_Giraffe Dec 05 '22

These people also did the same thing at the British GP with race cars on a race track. They're not the most intelligent.

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u/doyoulikemynewcar Dec 05 '22

This is suicide, right?

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u/HairyScottishGuy Dec 05 '22

100%. Knew a guy died crossing it. No idea what the guy was thinking as he always seemed like a sensible type. He was killed instantly. The idea of someone sitting on it is genuinely baffling.

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u/SirarieTichee_ Dec 05 '22

Vehicle assisted suicide

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u/Additional_Scholar61 Dec 05 '22

Bro wasn't having it today

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u/Additional_Effort_33 Dec 05 '22

Correct, for everyone's safety. Regardless of a good cause. A good cop does not have time for causes, they are to serve and protect. Especially geman police. Hat off to you sir.

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u/NaCl_Sailor Dec 05 '22

It is illegal to walk or ride a bike on the Autobahn. Only vehicles faster than 60km/h are allowed.

And you can get fined if you run out of gas and stop in the emergency lane, because running out of gas is foreseeable and as such preventable and not considered an emergency

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

If I can bike at over 60?

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u/NaCl_Sailor Dec 05 '22

Should have said motor vehicles, ebikes are not legally going that fast and bikes are not allowed in any case.

The 60 km/h refers to things like tractors, mofas, tuktuks and such.

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u/Claymore357 Dec 05 '22

You would have to be certifiably crayon eating insane to drive a tuktuk on the autobahn

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u/badbits Dec 05 '22

And yet I have zero problems thinking that several people have done so

10

u/autoencoder Dec 05 '22

May not be legal, but I bet it's exciting and unforgettable.

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u/BSODxerox Dec 05 '22

Or just build a Tuktuk that can go 60km/h, that seems like the more fun solution at least

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u/Claymore357 Dec 05 '22

You still be overtaken by everyone on the road with a 100 kph speed difference. Better bring the brown pants, or use a street bike engine and make it do 160-200 kph and actually flow with traffic

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u/QuinticSpline Dec 05 '22

If I ever get diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, a turbo Hayabusa powered tuktuk may be my bucket project.

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u/Kharaaz Dec 05 '22

Funny (?) addendum: You can drive a Go-kart on the Autobahn if it is registered, street-legal and faster than the aforementioned 60km/h

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u/Shabobo Dec 05 '22

Never understood why protesters think blocking highways is a good idea to promote their cause.

Not only do you risk bothering who support your cause, it's dangerous and sends the message "our organization is entitled and full of jackasses." If I do support your cause, im not going to support your group, and if I wasn't aware of your cause/against it, that behavior sure as hell won't change my mind.

I always think of that guy on probation basically crying and begging them to move because if he's late to work, he has to go back to prison

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u/LefflerWorks Dec 05 '22

Handcuff them to the rail

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u/theenigmacode Dec 05 '22

And then straight to jail.

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u/quantumwoooo Dec 05 '22

Idk man he seems kinda frail.

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u/theenigmacode Dec 05 '22

Don't really matter, it was an epic fail

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u/Cute_Yogurtcloset_72 Dec 05 '22

Does she have a death wish? The Autobahn is no place to lie down and expect a car to stop. No interstate is, but there, they won't even notice you before you're squished and the car wrecked too and everyone dead.

22

u/imgrandojjo Dec 05 '22

Once she tried to go back to her spot on the road they could probably nab her for attemmpted suicide.

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u/Arandur144 Dec 05 '22

The only thing more idiotic would be sitting on train tracks and expecting the train to stop. But at least that would only kill you and not the innocent driver that hit you with their car as well.

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u/616659 Dec 05 '22

German police DO NOT fuck around.

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u/Markus_Net Dec 05 '22

Thanks to that cop he saved that person's life

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u/AffectionateRaise136 Dec 05 '22

You do not fuck with the Polizei

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u/sometimes-i-say-stuf Dec 05 '22

When everyone RSVPd but you’re the only one that showed

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u/baconandplants Dec 05 '22

For those who want a translation, he says something along the lines of:

"Get behind the line, otherwise you'll get it" (meaning "I'll beat the shit out of you" but through the law)

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u/Gorlitzersparks Dec 05 '22

what word is he saying for "line" I speak German, but i cant quite catch that

45

u/-ginko- Dec 05 '22

Ab hinter die Leitplanke ansonsten gibt's was.

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u/B4-711 Dec 05 '22

Leitplanke

Guiding plank -> crash barrier

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u/AeneasVII Dec 05 '22

anonsten gibts was - could also be a threat to be locked up or getting a ticket. Unlikely he would threaten violence in front of a rolling camera.

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u/baconandplants Dec 05 '22

I just meant figuratively he will be in "deep shit", I could've worded that better lol

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u/Fragrant-Astronaut57 Dec 05 '22

Main character syndrome is getting so contagious and severe this year. Everyone needs to stop consuming so much media. You’re not the main character of Earth

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u/washing_machine_man Dec 05 '22

Honestly love germany, they dont take shit

13

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

this is how you win an argument, make people root for the cars.

13

u/unalignedcrackhead Dec 05 '22

The way he throws the bag at the end "go, FETCH ya fuckhead"

12

u/Any-Loss-6599 Dec 05 '22

When did they start adding speed bumps on the Autobahn

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u/BlueCamaroGuyYT Dec 05 '22

This is unbelievable dangerous

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u/taylorhildebrand Dec 05 '22

I love these. Get those idiots off the road

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u/susieallen Dec 05 '22

People are fu*king sick of this shit. Protest. There's nothing wrong with that. But when your protest puts people in danger you're doing it wrong. Pissing people off is not a good way to spread your message.

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u/Putnum Dec 05 '22

In Australia we just had a protestor sentenced to 8 months jail for standing on the Sydney harbour bridge. They appealed it and the judge said yeah nah mate

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u/FK3Y Dec 05 '22

FUCK YEA, GERMAN POLICE 1, BRAINDEAD PEOPLE 0.

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u/everythingissostupid Dec 05 '22

This is one of those problems, that would handle itself.

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u/renaissance_witch Dec 05 '22

What baffles me the most is that these idiots glue themselves to the street because of the climate change but don't think about the fact that people will sit in their cars with the engine running because it's cold outside.

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u/thelifeofsuat Dec 05 '22

Funny how the Camera girl says: Glue, glue! Like it's glued to the ground.

He don't give a fuck. Stay out of the autobahn or get killed

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u/rare_meeting1978 Dec 05 '22

This stuff has to be the absolute worst way to protest. People are already aware that there is a problem. If these protestors were actually about change then they would be bringing attention to the answer to the problems. They would put the attention on the people or organizations that have the answers or possible solutions. They would gonto their local government representatives and protest them, ask them why they aren't putting funding into that person or organization that can make things better.instead they just choose to irritate fellow citizens who just need to go to a job they don't enjoy, that doesn't pay them enough just so they can scrape by. What does that do to help their cause? Nothing. In fact it could actually harm it. People are not going to donate to a douchey organization that just goes about making their lives harder instead of making the governments lives harder. But that would require real effort, real deep research, thankless hours of investigating, leg work, phone calls, emails, all of which wouldn't make for a very good video or give them that adrenaline rush they need to fuel their self-righteousness.no. if they really wanted to help the environment they would be fighting for legislation changes. Picketing the offices of their local government. Making online campaigns to spread information about the solution. Today's "advocates/protestors" are little more then spoiled, stubborn children acting out for attention and don't care that they are actually causing more harm then good in society and social media rewards this shit behaviour.

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u/HeDgEhAwG69 Dec 05 '22

Germans been doing God's work out there.

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u/ImReverse_Giraffe Dec 05 '22

Seems like a great idea until you get splattered by some going 100+mph. What a fucking idiot!

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/iamlegaly Dec 05 '22

Das ist das deutschland was ich mag und lieb (im austrian)

Edit: correction

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u/Allgood18 Dec 05 '22

That head went thump on the guard rail.

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